Time to Move On

This necklace came in the mail today.

...

I ordered it the day the doctor first informed us that he believed Jack had a tethered spinal cord in an effort to make myself feel better.

...

Today, I do feel better.

...

What a perfect welcoming home.

...

Jack is doing great and recovering beautifully.

...

What an awesome experience. Not awesome like I think you should go out and try it. But, awesome like, eye opening.

...

Last week at this time I was absolutely terrified. Images of terrible outcomes ran through my head constantly, and my understanding of mother's intuition and fearful thoughts became intersected and cloudy to the point where I had no idea what to expect, hope for, or dread.

...

This week, it is over. Time to move on. We walked in our house and it felt like a new place. One without fear and anxiety. Ahhh.

...

This week lended itself to feeling so much gratitude, I feel like I might explode. Gratitude that he's ok. Gratitude that we don't have to do that again. Gratitude for friends and family who cared. Gratutude for friends and family who made an extra special effort to come and see us. I didn't realize how much I would genuinely appreciate when someone's face popped through our door. I felt gratitude for a man by the name of Dr. Kestle (see him here) and his calming presence and utter care with my precious baby boy.

...

This week also introduced me to a new side of my Jack. I almost feel like he grew up 10 years in the last 4 days. So brave, so forgiving, so understanding of the situation. I had a lot of time to look into his big blues, and he may as well had been talking to me. It's like he was saying, "It's ok, mom. We'll get throught this." Like he pulled me through it. What a bond an experience like this makes for a family. Just after Jack came out of surgery, they let me go alone to see him. He was perfectly calm laying there, and I started to talk to him. His poor little chin quivered and he looked at me and cried big tears as if to tell me his sad, sad story. While it broke my heart, my heart also grew.

He really does know me.

Loves me even, like I love my mama.

Amazing.

...

And although the greatest gift in all of this is obviously that Jack will be healthy and grow to live an active happy life, I felt another immediate gift. You know that whole issue with time that I frequently talk about on the blog? The fact that it goes too fast and never slows down. Well, I think I'm ready to let that one go, finally. There are worse things than time. Worse things than Jack growing and getting older and bigger.

Before his surgery, all I wanted was for Jack to grow and get bigger.

Now that he can, how can I possibly complain?

I'm so excited for time now.

...

It really is time to move on from this now...

and love every minute of it.

This is Jack's drug face. As soon as the meds started kicking in, he'd just go into this stare for like 15 minutes and then...

Out.

Annie was one of the sweet visitors who made a special trip all the way up to the hospital....more than once.

This is the first time I was able to actually hold him.

Jack sat here and would stare at the TV...like father like son.

This little lady spent nearly as much time at the hospital as I did. She put in some long hours, brought amazing gifts, fed us, etc. etc. etc. Any ideas on how to repay someone who does...EVERYTHING?

The eternal butt crack. Poor little man.

This was Jack as were waiting for the doctor to discharge us. We were pretty confident he would given Jack's mood.

Leaving the hospital. Clothed, finally.

The second we got in the car, and the entire ride home.

Home sweet home.