No, Thank You

To Utah:

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I love that you are home.

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I love that my family is here.

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I love that you are fab to look at and have gorgeous mountains and trees and lakes.

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I love that I can go outside without fear of getting gang banged.

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And it's a dang good thing I love you for all these reasons because I'm not particularly in love with you for this:

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Thank you traditional October snow.

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Or this gem left at my door this week:

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This seems to be a Utah tradition.

The old ghost in the window.

I swear it's this ghost and the cookies left with it that brought about a lovely stomach bug for me and Brett.

Maybe not poisoned, but a bad vibe for sure.

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Thank you, ghost.

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For reassuring us that we're not totally unpopular in our neighborhood and for giving me a reason to bake and doorbell ditch.

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(ENTER SARCASM HERE)

Fun!

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However, I will say that this snow and recovering from this bug I've got have left me with no intention of leaving the house today.

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And, rocking Jack to sleep with a little snow falling, and the antincipation of a lovely nap for the both of us makes me feel rather forgiving.

Utah, I still love you.

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Still hate the ghost.

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And Jack, if I could climb inside your crib and take my nap with you, I would.

Throw Me a Bone

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Actually, I should say throw Jack a bone.

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Poor boy.

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Just when he was getting completely back to his old self, teething came knocking at his door.

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Yuck.

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Thought it was an ear infection, so we made a little visit to the doctor...again.

.... ***** The diagnosis: My Jack is working on some chompers.

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Oh, so that's what the constant puddle of drool stands for? I get it.

How foolish of me to think that surgery of the spine was enough for a wee 4 month old.

I swear it's not fair that he should have to deal with "baby" stuff too. Couldn't we have just bypassed that? ****

Sigh.

I guess the boy's gotta have teeth.

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But, here's what I have to say to teething:

suck it.

(literally)

*****

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In good news, Jack got to take his first post-surgery bath today.

He smiled all the way in he was so excited.

****Tooth pain was taking a break here, apparently.

That, or he sees Brett's head as a giant thing to chew on.

Calling All Homeless!

When we built our house, Brett finished our basement into a full apartment.

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The current renters of our basement are moving out at the end of next month. Which means we are on the lookout for new renters.

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I've decided to turn it over to the blog-o-sphere to get the word out (because I know sooooooooooooo many people visit my blog).

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If you know of anyone who might be interested... have them call or email me at sarahwjones@hotmail.com

(unless they have 99 kids/pets/or plan on making it into a meth lab).

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... Here's some info on the place:

• Location: Lehi (close to freeway, shopping, etc)
• Full daylight basement with own entrance
• 1800 Square Feet
• 3 Bedrooms
• 1.5 Bath
• Large Living Room
• 10 Foot Ceilings
• Full Kitchen with Nook for Dining Area
• Washer/Dryer
• Lots of Storage
• Hot Landlords (bad joke) .......

Not very good pictures...but some to give you an idea...

Kitchen Views:

Bath:

The Landlord:

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In other news, Jack had his 4 month appointment this week.

All is well.

Here he is waiting for the Dr.

He totally acted like an old pro...

12.99 pounds & 25.5 inches

And his arms are more defined than mine.

This outfit is the reason I am ok with dressing him again...amazing.

Still tuckered out from last week's trauma.

Parental Highlight

11:45 pm.

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Brett and I stood in Jack's dark room.

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Jack lay sleeping in his carseat after a desperation drive to soothe him to sleep.

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In the glow of Jack's nightlight, I looked at Brett.

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Brett looked at me.

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Our glances indicated that I would be the lucky one to transfer him to his crib.

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Post-surgery had left us unsure of what position Jack would stay asleep in.

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I whispered, "Back or stomach?"

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Brett blinked slowly.

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So, in this, a highlight of our parenthood, we shrugged.

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I sighed, "You be back, I'll be stomach."

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And then. We did it.

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We pulled out the best decision maker we know and we

paper-rock-scissored.

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Me: Paper, Brett: Scissors.

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"Back, ok, back."

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I gingerly took a sweaty little Jack from his carseat and laid him softly on his back.

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His little eyes shot open, and Brett's frantic voice chanted,

"No, no, no, stomach, stomach, stomach."

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And Jack was immediately flipped.

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This is Jack, today.

..... The 3 days before today, not so much. .

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Since we got home from the hospital, my sweet and amazing little sleeper had taken a vacation.

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Pain medication and Jack's chill disposition did not agree.

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Today Jack is off pain meds.

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Today, I have my Jack back.

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And it's a dang good thing.

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Who knows what shenanigans we would have pulled tonight.

Time to Move On

This necklace came in the mail today.

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I ordered it the day the doctor first informed us that he believed Jack had a tethered spinal cord in an effort to make myself feel better.

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Today, I do feel better.

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What a perfect welcoming home.

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Jack is doing great and recovering beautifully.

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What an awesome experience. Not awesome like I think you should go out and try it. But, awesome like, eye opening.

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Last week at this time I was absolutely terrified. Images of terrible outcomes ran through my head constantly, and my understanding of mother's intuition and fearful thoughts became intersected and cloudy to the point where I had no idea what to expect, hope for, or dread.

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This week, it is over. Time to move on. We walked in our house and it felt like a new place. One without fear and anxiety. Ahhh.

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This week lended itself to feeling so much gratitude, I feel like I might explode. Gratitude that he's ok. Gratitude that we don't have to do that again. Gratitude for friends and family who cared. Gratutude for friends and family who made an extra special effort to come and see us. I didn't realize how much I would genuinely appreciate when someone's face popped through our door. I felt gratitude for a man by the name of Dr. Kestle (see him here) and his calming presence and utter care with my precious baby boy.

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This week also introduced me to a new side of my Jack. I almost feel like he grew up 10 years in the last 4 days. So brave, so forgiving, so understanding of the situation. I had a lot of time to look into his big blues, and he may as well had been talking to me. It's like he was saying, "It's ok, mom. We'll get throught this." Like he pulled me through it. What a bond an experience like this makes for a family. Just after Jack came out of surgery, they let me go alone to see him. He was perfectly calm laying there, and I started to talk to him. His poor little chin quivered and he looked at me and cried big tears as if to tell me his sad, sad story. While it broke my heart, my heart also grew.

He really does know me.

Loves me even, like I love my mama.

Amazing.

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And although the greatest gift in all of this is obviously that Jack will be healthy and grow to live an active happy life, I felt another immediate gift. You know that whole issue with time that I frequently talk about on the blog? The fact that it goes too fast and never slows down. Well, I think I'm ready to let that one go, finally. There are worse things than time. Worse things than Jack growing and getting older and bigger.

Before his surgery, all I wanted was for Jack to grow and get bigger.

Now that he can, how can I possibly complain?

I'm so excited for time now.

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It really is time to move on from this now...

and love every minute of it.

This is Jack's drug face. As soon as the meds started kicking in, he'd just go into this stare for like 15 minutes and then...

Out.

Annie was one of the sweet visitors who made a special trip all the way up to the hospital....more than once.

This is the first time I was able to actually hold him.

Jack sat here and would stare at the TV...like father like son.

This little lady spent nearly as much time at the hospital as I did. She put in some long hours, brought amazing gifts, fed us, etc. etc. etc. Any ideas on how to repay someone who does...EVERYTHING?

The eternal butt crack. Poor little man.

This was Jack as were waiting for the doctor to discharge us. We were pretty confident he would given Jack's mood.

Leaving the hospital. Clothed, finally.

The second we got in the car, and the entire ride home.

Home sweet home.

Day 3

Yesterday went smoothly.

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We had another good night.

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Just before bed, we noticed a rash on Jack's face and back (see picture below), and because of a concern of a drug allergy, the doctor had him start on Benedryl. After a couple of hours his rash was cleared up, and now they're just watching it closely.

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He woke to eat and get his meds, but other than that, had a great night.

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The neurosurgery team came by early this morning to find a very active and playful Jack. We're all predicting an early crawler! His incision is healing very well and his pain control is good. Still haven't seen Dr. Kestle this morning, but expect him to be by in the next few hours.

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Jack is still doing so well with his positioning restrictions, and within a few hours, if the risk of spinal fluid leaking is gone, we can pick him up like normal again. He's off of an IV, and is only hooked to monitors that continue to check his vitals.

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We are still in the same room (3009), and have wonderful nurses.

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Some pictures from the last 24 hours....

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Getting ready to be probed and washed...

(such a combo!)

Tired??

Jack and his crib posse...

"What the *@$ % happened to me?"

I am obsessed with Jack's new look of no clothes.

Mainly because of this awesome bicep!

Spine surgery and still content.

Day 2

(pre-surgery photo...but he's still just as cute)

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We had a good night last night. Jack slept really well and the nurses were able to manage his pain well. Everyone here is in awe of how well he is handling such a big surgery. In order to un-tether his spinal cord, they actually had to cut through his spine (while taking out part of the bone in one or more of his vertebrae). The neurosurgeons team of doctor's came in early this morning to check his 4 inch incision, and said all is looking good. They also removed his catheter this morning. We only have 24 more hours of not being able to hold him upright. He has to stay on his tummy or his side in order to prevent any spinal fluid from leaking. He is eating and keeping his food down, and continues to just roll with the punches. He is a bit more alert today, and will hold his head up to look around and make noises to us. He's really working to get back to rolling around, but his annoying parents have to keep stopping him.

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I'm so proud of him. He's been so brave.

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We are feeling extremely relieved to be done with yesterday. While Jack has acted pretty content most of the time, there are still moments when the pain gets to him, and it's pretty unbearable to watch. His good temperament keeps him from full on screaming, but he just kind of moans in discomfort. That really sucks. I have a hard time thinking of anything worse than seeing your child in pain.

But, all in all, things are better than expected and we will, after all, get through this. So glad to have the anticipation of it all over. It's like a huge weight has been lifted.

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You learn so much about yourself, your child, and life in general when you go through something like this. It makes you appreciate simple times at home, when you get to pick up your sleepy baby from their own bed and spend time together comfortably at home. Health is everything. We're so lucky to have this ordeal well on it's way to being over and fixed. I have been so amazed by the doctors, nurses, and staff and their level of knowledge and skill. I now have the experience to back up what I've been told, this really is the best place Jack could be (other than the AWFUL fold out chair/beds)!

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It's amazing what you really can do and can get through when you're faced with it.

It certainly doesn't hurt when you have support like we have had.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Love to you all!

A little update for any visitors: We have moved rooms, and are no longer sharing with another infant and family. We have our own room now, Room # 3009.

Visitors over the age of 12 are allowed and welcome.

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Tiny oxygen mask used during surgery.

This is the only way I can hold/feed him.

Jack's battle wound...just a warning...the next picture is his uncovered wound...can't believe I can even look at it to post...scroll fast if you're grossed out easily like me.

Poor little buddy.

Reunited with Jango

Good news: Doctor just came home and said there is a possibility we could go home tomorrow night vs. Friday morning.

Jack Sleeps

We're in Jack's room now.

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He has been sleeping most of the day and handling things well.

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We are here until Friday, so longer, better, posts to come I'm sure, as we try to pass the time. (sure you can't wait!)

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FYI on visitors: Room 4310, Primary Children's

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Just wanted to thank you all again, so much, for thinking of us today. We made it....couldn't have done it nearly as painlessly without all of you.

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Done.

Dr. just called.

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Jack is done with surgery.

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All went well with no unexpected surprises. The problem was exactly what they thought.

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I get to go see him in about 10 minutes as the anesthesiologist wakes him up.

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Sigh of relief.

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Waiting....waiting

We are here.

Jack was a complete angel this morning.

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They took him back around 9:00. ... and it hurt, bad. But we're hanging in there.

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There are so many of you sending such sweet messages our way...thank you for picking us up, it helps, I promise.

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I will try and update here to keep you in the know...and to keep me from thinking too much while we wait..and wait....and wait.

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If you're home with your babies today... be glad.

The time has come...

Tomorrow is the big day.

We got the call from Primary Children's.

9:15 is the time.

*****

Jack will be in surgery for about

3 hours.

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I will try to get the word out of how things are going as soon as I can.

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Thank you so much for so many thoughts, well wishes, prayers, and love.

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Wish us luck...

Total Canyon People

We took a little ride up the Loop to see the leaves and take our minds off of the upcoming week.

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It was gorge.

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Loved it.

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Note:

The title of my blog is a total inside joke between Brett and I.

People in high school would self-proclaim themselves as

'canyon people.'

It's not so much that we find humor in people in high school that hung in the canyon.

Heaven knows we spent our fair share of time in the canyon (however, I think a more appropriate title for Brett and I would be "make out people").

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But, it's this title one would give themselves as a 'canyon person' in an effort to prove their originality that we find so humorous.

Is there such a think as being original in high school, really?

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A canyon person would:

Make sweet mix tapes.

Go up the canyon to talk about deep stuff.

Be one with nature vs. caring about high school stuff.

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After this weekend, we're such canyon people.

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Sweeeeet.

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On our way up the canyon...

This kid is never happy. Never smiles.*****

Canyon Person in the Making

Jack may or may not ever close his mouth.

Jack was on the lookout for bears.