4.10.2010

Friday Night Fail

...
Last night, in a last ditch effort to make something of a Friday night, I had the brilliant idea to go out and get some ice cream. Considering our child goes to bed before the sun sets, it is rare to go anywhere past 7:00. However, Jack took a late nap, had just been bathed and pj’d, and we had about a half hour before he needed to enter into dreamland.

...

Being the cheapskate I am, I dug through my wallet for some washed up gift cards some students had given me. Red Mango & Maggie Moo’s…those were our choices.

...

Since Brett insists that making the effort to go get ice cream was not worth a “healthy treat,” we decided on Maggie Moos, although I don’t think we have ever in our lives been there. It’s about 2 minutes from our house, so that added to its appeal.

In and out, lickety split.

That was the deal.

......

I jumped into the driver’s seat, so that I didn’t have to be the one to load Jack in his carseat for the 99th time of the day. Brett stayed back with Jack and we were off.

...

As we pulled into the parking lot, I was feeling so free and easy, that I decided there was no need to bring in the diaper bag. No need for my wallet since we had a gift card. No need for anything. Just me, jack, and a towering cup of ice cream….tra la la! Brett gets out with Jack, sockless, too small pajama Jack, while I threw caution to the wind, tossed my keys on the passenger seat, responsibly pushed the lock button and closed my door.

Zippidie doo da…we were on our way….Then, I realized what I had done.

FAIL #1.

...

I tried desperately to pin it on Brett, “Did you lock the car?!?” No matter that it’s not physically possible to lock the car from the back seat. There had to have been more to this mistake. It was so blatantly stupid.

..

It took one glance in the window to see my keys…taunting me from inside.

I’ve locked my keys in my car probably over 20 times. (Honestly)

Why don’t I have a spare? (I don’t want to talk about it)

We walk into Maggie Moos to get our poor blanketless, sockless child in from the cold, and always-sensible Brett says, “I’ll run home. Then I’ll drive back and get you.”

That’s when rational Sarah says, “You can’t run. Who do you think you are?”

Fail #2.

Then there may have been an exchange of words about how mean I am.

Sorry 'bout that one, Brett.

......

Putting the running home idea to rest, we decide to call my mom to come get us.

Sarah: “Give me your phone”

Brett: “I left it home, use yours.”

Sarah: Ok…oh wait, it’s in the car…I’ll go get it …DOH!

...

So there we are sockless, blanketless, bagless, carless, and now phoneless.

Awesome.

Brett asked the gangly teenager behind the counter for their phone and lucky for us, Jackie trusted that when her caller ID said Maggie Moo’s it must've meant EMERGENCY.

...

Suddenly my worry changed from the keys to the fact that my child had bare feet. My mom is practically the face of undershirts and socks. She was going to kill me.

...

Brett decided to make this whole circus worth it and got us some ice cream. The good news is he forgot to use the gift card.

Fail #3.

...

As soon as my mom’s little mug peeked in, we were saved.

The first words out of her mouth? “Where are Jack’s socks?”

She wasn't the slightest bit surprised by my locked out shinanigans.

I took the element of surprise out of these mistakes long ago.

...

We got in my mom's car...she immediately blasted the heater, because Jack was hypothermic from the whole sock thing, afterall.

...

Because Jack's carseat was in my locked car, we had to pull a Britney and buckle Jack in with me.

Fail #4.

hero of the night..
...

When we got home, I got Brett the number for our roadside service that my oh so wise insurance agent felt would be a must to include in our policy.

(I told you I’ve done this lots of times).

After Brett dialed the number, he instantly held the phone to my ear. I’ll keep my blog G rated, but it was definitely one friendly roadside company or..I don’t know…a sex hotline.

We checked the number.

A 4 instead of a 9.

Fail #5.

The rest of the night, Brett got racy texts sent to his phone from the number.

...

In the end, we go the car unlocked. No real harm done.

...

Except it’s just another bullet point in a long list of things in my absent-minded resume.

...

I’ve contributed quite a lot to that resume this week.

Lost camera at aquarium, CHECK!

Lost debit card? CHECK!

Keys locked in car? CHECK!

24 comments:

Annie said...

Oh you little mug you! Thank you for that entertainment for my boring Saturday night. I'm going to get you a fanny pack from mom's house so you can have everything on hand at all times. Also---genius use of the link feature to JRI insurance!! Randy found that especially hilarious. I'm glad mom was available to help...was she coming from the Oscars? That outfit...unbelievable, only mom.

huggin said...

Hahaha I loved this blog more than life! Genius story telling, I loved the play by play. I also love the that first words out of your mom's mouth were "Where are Jack's socks?" While I hope that you don't have any more nights filled with a series of unfortunate events, I also secretly do because you write about them so wonderfully I could have read this for days!

Jenny said...

LOL Sarah...you are awesome. Seriously, a hero in the world of Mom's. I too have lost so many things that it's a miracle that I haven't lost a child (cross your fingers on that one!)

Jessie said...

THANK YOU FOR THAT! You have again made my day! I wish I could've seen you and Jack strapped in the back seat of Jackie's car! I will be calling you Ms. Spears from now on! Glad you eventually made it home. :)

hayleyrowan said...

yeah i think wednesday should work. i'll call you, but plan on that.

annie and jared said...

oh sar.. you are too great for words. Know what is extra funny about that? My sister Allison told me yesterday that she was standing behind you in line at Maggie Moo's!! So all you would have had to do is turn around, and she could have driven your cute little behind home.. ha ha. (I think she wasn't quite sure it was you and was feeling a little shy). I am so sick of us not hanging out, really I am. You look adorable by the way, love your cute hair :)

Anonymous said...

Hahaha That is priceless. Sounds like quite the week. Too bad you had to have Maggie Moos instead of an Oreo McFlurra to try and make it better. By the way, the picture of you at the end of this post is really cute. I am going to admit that I frequently check your blog just hoping there will be a few new pictures of you in your always amazing outfits for me to try and copy with the rags in my closet! And, I have started going to your hairdresser...Now that I think about it, this kinda sounds creepy!!! If you see anyone looking through your window at night, it just might be me! :)

Anonymous said...

Don't worry Sar! In College I had AAA tell me that I had met the maximum number of times they would come get my keys out of my car...I had to make copies of my keys for my roommates! :)

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