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Call it mother's intuition.
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I knew the second the doctor pointed out the spot on Jack's back that this wasn't going away for a while.
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On Thursday afternoon, Jack's pediatrician called me.
My first thought: "When the pediatrician himself calls, it can't be good."
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He proceeded to explain some things to me and the only words I hear are:
tethered spinal cord, MRI, Primary Children's Hospital, neurosurgeon, and surgery.
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While I love our pediatrician, he caught me off guard. A lot.
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Needless to say, I got off the phone, and completely fell apart. While I thought I was beginning to get a grasp of the feelings you experience as a mom, I quickly learned that I still had and have
a lot more to feel. Ouch.
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After Brett calling our doctor again, talking to Primary Children's Hospital, and having some time to come to grips with all of it, here I have it, the story...
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From the mark on his back and the ultrasound pictures, Jack seems to have a tethered spinal cord. The ultrasound was a screening test, and it indicated that it may be attached at the base of his spine. The problem with this is that as a child grows, it puts tension on the cord and spine, and can result in paralysis (gulp). The MRI is a better, more accurate test, that will allow the doctors to know exactly what the deal is. From that point on, if their predictions were correct, and the cord is tethered, they will go in for surgery to de-tether it...thus preventing Jack from the risk of losing function of his lower half. Scary? Yes.
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It's a bit overwhelming to say the least.
Feels like physical pain comes with the emotional pain every time I go through it in my mind.
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However, in talking with Primary Children's, I feel comforted and confident that this is something we can handle.
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While it looks like surgery will most likely be needed, we learned some good information that has helped me to cope. In their words...
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The surgery is not major and not minor.
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The surgery is common enough that they are very comfortable with it.
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He will only be in the hospital for 3-4 days to recover.
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There are no additional risks with this surgery than with any other surgery.
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It will fix the problem before there is any neurological damage.
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He is not feeling pain now.
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Looks like the MRI will be at Primary Children's on
September 21st.
If surgery is needed, it will be a couple of weeks after.
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I could go on for days and days about all the scary worries I have had go through my mind, but I've decided to turn over a new leaf.
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I am determined to be positive through this no matter how heart-breaking it is to think of my tiny little sweetheart enduring it all at such a small age.
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I'll be brave.
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I have to be for Jack.
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In the midst of a cloudy week, there are still so many things in all of this that I am so grateful for:
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Thank goodness for a wonderful doctor who found this so incredibly early that damage has not been done.
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Jack is comfortable, happy, and unaware of all of this.
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He will be at one of the best hospitals for children in the nation.
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We have unprecedented support, encouragement, and love from family and friends.
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I still have my sweet boy.
He is growing, laughing, smiling, rolling, and making my life better every day.
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They can fix this.
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We can do this.
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Thank you for all your good thoughts, they help. Really.
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Here are some random gems I found on the camera that helped me to smile this week.
Look closely. Hank, Jack, and Max all buckled in the mom-mobile.
Quite an accomplishment.
Content, happy, sleeping baby? Yes, please.
Brett had a love affair with the Neti Pot.
Since he was not contagious, he got to spend some quality napping time with Jack.
Ride'm Cowboy
6 comments:
Mothers intuition is always right and very powerful, almost as powerful as positive thinking. Jack has the best parents he could ever hope for, and access to the best care you can get. He's a tough little guy and he's going to come out of this even tougher. Sure love you both and you know I would do anything for your family. P.S. that last picture of Jack looks exactly like Dad! I love the bumbo pics as well!
Sarah-
I had to have Lucy checked for that, she didn't have it but still to this day every time a see a different Ped. they tell me that she looks like she has a tethered spine. I know the feeling of going to have it checked!! My thought and prayers are with you and if you need anything please feel free to call!!
oh sarah--
i am so sorry you have to go through this. I just want to copy and paste what annie had to say. I totally agree with her. I hope all goes well and we will definitely be thinking of you!
so scary! I hope everything works out and no surgery is needed; but after having Miles in surgery at four days, I know how amazing they are at Primary's! There is no better place (granted it's still the worst thing on earth to see your little one go through that) but they are amazing up there!
Jack's in my prayers; let me know if you need anything!
mags
I am soooo sorry about all of this. This is something that no mother would want to hear and have their baby go through. I know everything will be all right and just know that we are here for you and Brett (even though we are across the country we are still here!). You guys will be in our thoughts and prayers.
P.S. We can't wait to see you guys in a couple of weeks.
Poor little Jack! How can such a sweet, little guy have to get an MRI? I am so sorry Shaw!! But, the good news is that you found it so early. Good luck with the MRI. I will be thinking about you and little Jack.
PS...good luck tomorrow at the first day of school!
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