Mind Explosion

Went running this morning for the first time post-labor. It was an absolutely gorgeous morning, the sun hadn't quite come up, and it reminded me instantly of last summer running and WHAM! That homesick-like feeling in my gut hit and it reminded me of that topic that warps my mind every time I think about it... TIME.

Last year at this time, Jack was a mere thought. I spent a lot of my runs thinking of how I wanted to be a mama soon and wondering what might be in my future. I am glad it's not back then...but... why then do I get that feeling? Insert MIND EXPLOSION here.

At the point this morning where I decided to take my lazy walk into my first strides of a run, I felt light, considering the last time I ran I had a 6 month baby in my belly. However, the reality of a rickety back, un-stretched muscles, and my ever approaching need for adult diapers set in fast. It made me think how I've changed this year and then another

MIND EXPLOSION.

All I wanted during my pregnancy was for time to move FAST. Every day was a countdown. Now, all I want is for time to chill and let me enjoy this stage a bit longer.

I kind of feel bad for time.

It would appear that he can't please me.

At this point in the run, I found myself looking down the road for a landmark where I could stop and walk....you didn't really think on my first time out that I'd run the whole time did you? This was a moment where time moving fast may have been welcome!

While I walked the second third of my run, ironic enough, I saw a piece of newspaper on the ground. I glanced as I walked by and it was the Alpine School District Back-to-School paper.

Gasp!

Time came creeping back into my brain as the yearly August realization that summer is almost over hit me. It's the dread of every teacher. Time's-a-tickin'.

My mind exploded yet another time as I thought about how for the past several years, teaching has occupied nearly 90% of my thoughts & time.

For the first time in a long time, I don't care about it.

Now, that's a huge MIND EXPLOSION I'll thank Jack for that. Thank goodness I'll only be going back to teach for a mere 8-10 hours a week, because I might really have beef with time if I knew I'd be going back for real in a short 2 weeks.

As I began running again for the last bit, I felt some momentum.. It was then, as my limbs stopped hurting, and I was actually running at a pace where bystanders wouldn't laugh at me (who cares if it was downhill) that I remembered baby cakes waiting for me at home. Thinking of the fact that he's a few days shy of 2 months, I started getting angry at TIME again. Why can't it just move a bit slower? I love now way too much.

Who wouldn't want to freeze this face?

Every time I look at him I have a major

MIND EXPLOSION.

I can't believe he's mine.

So perfect.

So a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e.

One day I'll cope with time and my issues with it.

Maybe it'll happen around the same time I'm back in shape again.

That could be a while.

For now, my mind hurts.

Next time I go running, no thinking allowed!

Completely unrelated to this post, but so relevant to my life right now...

Memo to 'So You Think You Can Dance': If Evan wins, I will boycott your show. Who's voting for him anyway?