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Being the cheapskate I am, I dug through my wallet for some washed up gift cards some students had given me. Red Mango & Maggie Moo’s…those were our choices.
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Since Brett insists that making the effort to go get ice cream was not worth a “healthy treat,” we decided on Maggie Moos, although I don’t think we have ever in our lives been there. It’s about 2 minutes from our house, so that added to its appeal.
In and out, lickety split.
That was the deal.
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I jumped into the driver’s seat, so that I didn’t have to be the one to load Jack in his carseat for the 99th time of the day. Brett stayed back with Jack and we were off.
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As we pulled into the parking lot, I was feeling so free and easy, that I decided there was no need to bring in the diaper bag. No need for my wallet since we had a gift card. No need for anything. Just me, jack, and a towering cup of ice cream….tra la la! Brett gets out with Jack, sockless, too small pajama Jack, while I threw caution to the wind, tossed my keys on the passenger seat, responsibly pushed the lock button and closed my door.
Zippidie doo da…we were on our way….Then, I realized what I had done.
FAIL #1.
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I tried desperately to pin it on Brett, “Did you lock the car?!?” No matter that it’s not physically possible to lock the car from the back seat. There had to have been more to this mistake. It was so blatantly stupid.
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It took one glance in the window to see my keys…taunting me from inside.
I’ve locked my keys in my car probably over 20 times. (Honestly)
Why don’t I have a spare? (I don’t want to talk about it)
We walk into Maggie Moos to get our poor blanketless, sockless child in from the cold, and always-sensible Brett says, “I’ll run home. Then I’ll drive back and get you.”
That’s when rational Sarah says, “You can’t run. Who do you think you are?”
Fail #2.
Then there may have been an exchange of words about how mean I am.
Sorry 'bout that one, Brett.
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Putting the running home idea to rest, we decide to call my mom to come get us.
Sarah: “Give me your phone”
Brett: “I left it home, use yours.”
Sarah: Ok…oh wait, it’s in the car…I’ll go get it …DOH!
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So there we are sockless, blanketless, bagless, carless, and now phoneless.
Awesome.
Brett asked the gangly teenager behind the counter for their phone and lucky for us, Jackie trusted that when her caller ID said Maggie Moo’s it must've meant EMERGENCY.
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Suddenly my worry changed from the keys to the fact that my child had bare feet. My mom is practically the face of undershirts and socks. She was going to kill me.
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Brett decided to make this whole circus worth it and got us some ice cream. The good news is he forgot to use the gift card.
Fail #3.
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As soon as my mom’s little mug peeked in, we were saved.
The first words out of her mouth? “Where are Jack’s socks?”
She wasn't the slightest bit surprised by my locked out shinanigans.
I took the element of surprise out of these mistakes long ago.
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We got in my mom's car...she immediately blasted the heater, because Jack was hypothermic from the whole sock thing, afterall.
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Because Jack's carseat was in my locked car, we had to pull a Britney and buckle Jack in with me.
Fail #4.
hero of the night..
When we got home, I got Brett the number for our roadside service that my oh so wise insurance agent felt would be a must to include in our policy.
(I told you I’ve done this lots of times).
After Brett dialed the number, he instantly held the phone to my ear. I’ll keep my blog G rated, but it was definitely one friendly roadside company or..I don’t know…a sex hotline.
We checked the number.
A 4 instead of a 9.
Fail #5.
The rest of the night, Brett got racy texts sent to his phone from the number.
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In the end, we go the car unlocked. No real harm done.
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Except it’s just another bullet point in a long list of things in my absent-minded resume.
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I’ve contributed quite a lot to that resume this week.
Lost camera at aquarium, CHECK!
Lost debit card? CHECK!
Keys locked in car? CHECK!
